Whenever I’m having an identity crisis I’ll just take a few Buzzfeed quizzes. I may have no idea about my future but I do know which Disney princess should be my maid of honor.
Well behaved aliens seldom make History Channel
Can we please take bar culture and translate it to book stores? Buy me a biography, not a beer.
If the best part of waking up is Folgers in your cup then you need to seriously reconsider your life choices.
Corporations may be people but not the kind you want to invite to parties.
Cars with environmentalist license plates and shitty gas mileage.